Who Are You Online?

I just completed a small contract in which I hired a man from Pakistan via UpWork to do some work on my website.

He was fantastic, and did the initial job, which would have taken me two days and it still would’ve been wrong, in 90 minutes.

who_are_you_250x375I then decided to do some work on a different website, and there were suddenly glitches. I know enough about such things to know the problem was with the webhost, not my freelancer, and we worked through it together. He spent 3 hours on the task (until after 2 am in his time zone) and then refused to bill me for it because we didn’t achieve the objective!

I gave him a substantial bonus when it was all over to thank him for his hard work and the great advice he gave me about the site.

Then he said a couple things which both encouraged me and made me wonder.

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Ten Commandments for Mentoring

I hope you have become convinced through these last few posts that having mentors is an essential part of your personal growth plan.Dollarphotoclub_60524206_10Comm_800

Here are 10 Commandments of Mentoring from Stanley and Clinton in Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life:

  1. Relationship: You will have differing depths of relationship with your mentors, but all relationships require effort to maintain.
  2. Purpose: Mentoring is not random. It is for a very clear purpose or area of your life. Be clear on the purpose of a mentoring relationship.
  3. Regularity: Once a week is ideal. But whatever the frequency, discuss the expectations ahead of time.
  4. Accountability: Give your mentor explicit freedom to hold you accountable in your growth area.
  5. Communication Mechanisms: Especially be clear on how you want negative feedback to be communicated.
  6. Confidentiality: Rather than assuming your mentor will know what level of confidentiality you are comfortable with, describe your expectations right up front. A good mentor leans toward very high levels of confidentiality.
  7. Life Cycles of Mentoring: Avoid open ended mentoring relationships. Set a time limit from the beginning.
  8. Evaluation: The mentor evaluates you, but you are both involved in evaluating the mentoring process. Schedule evaluation times throughout the duration of the mentorship.
  9. Expectations: Most of the commandments relate to this issue of expectations in some way. And most negative mentoring experiences are due to unclear or uncommunicated expectations.
  10. Closure: Even if a friendship develops and continues beyond the formal mentoring time, bring closure to the mentoring relationship.

So there you have it: With this and the last few posts, you know everything you need to accelerate your personal growth through mentors.

Now take action and get the mentor you need!

When We Need Mentors

As mentioned last time, mentors are an essential component of long term personal growth. Dollarphotoclub_77248055_when800

I would argue that most of us need mentors in one or more area of our lives all the time. But, how do you know when and where you need a mentor?

You need a mentor when you are plateaued or puzzled in a key area of life.

It may be a personal area of life, or it may lean more towards the vocational or professional side of things, but when you notice a plateau- a sustained lack of growth- or an increasing number of unanswered questions, that is a clue that you need a mentor in that area.

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Why We Need Mentors

Dollarphotoclub_51245216_mentors_500wWhy do we need mentors or partners in our lives?

  • We all have down times where we need encouragement and advice.
  • We will all face situations where our knowledge and experience is insufficient.
  • Most people who are successful over the long haul can point to three-ten others who have helped them along the way.
  • The relative absence of good mentoring relationships gives those who have them a competitive advantage in almost any endeavour.

What makes a good mentor?
In the book Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life by Paul Stanley and J. Robert Clinton suggest the following traits of a good mentor:

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You Need Mentors

When we think of goal setting, life planning, personal vision- all those sorts of things- we often think about them in very personal, often private terms. And, in many ways these are very personal issues.

However, you may recall (assuming you have read it) that the last step of the last phase of the Release system was to Pick your Partners:

“Life is meant to be lived in community. You need to take responsibility for your own values and decisions and direction, but once your course is set, you need help to keep the habits to reach your goals and realize your dreams.” (page 131-32, Release)

The next few posts will dive into this important issue. To get your wheels turning, here are some questions to reflect on:

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